just me rambling on.

ok so this is kinda just gonna be my rambling about certain stuff but read on and you may learn something. So today started out good, me and clara woke up and we ate breakfast, played a bit and then we took a short nap... very short actually because my stupid sister and her daughter came over here. So she bitched and moaned about how she was sick and how she needed help with gabby. I wouldn't have a problem with that if gabby wasnt a two year old little terror that actually listened! Well that and the fact that whenever I am sick I am MADE to watch my daughter, i don't get any help because then she(my sister) bitches. Any hoo, SO i got really angry earlier because my nieces had the new kittens wrapped up in blankets so tight i dont even think the poor kittens could breath, so i told them to loosen the blankets or let the kittens go on the ground. Well neither of them would listen, so i told them if they were gonna disobey me they were going in timeout. well they both walked off like i wasnt even there so i grabbed both their arms and put their butts in timeout. Well gabby finished her time out(shes 2 so she gets 2 minutes) but lexi... OMG she just started whining and kicking and screaming the entire time so i told her her time out didnt start until she stopped throwing a fit, well her mom(my other sister) was on the phone and said she could have the kitten and do whatever she wanted to with it AND that she didnt need to be in timeout. Which totally pissed me off, i'm an animal lover and i don't think she should be almost killing those poor little kittens. My sister always complains that her daughter doesn't listen, and she wonders y... i mean hello if you arent gonna make a kid listen they arent gonna listen EVER. Anyway so i went in my room and finally(took for freaking ever) finished my 800 word essay. People say an 800 word essay is easy, trust me its not, you start running out of facts and things to say. After that me and clara played for a bit and i found out something that made her laugh, i blow a rasberry on her tummy and say boo in a high pitched voice... i love her laugh its sooo cute. I love to see her smile, i just love everything about her, i even love it when shes fussing and everything because i know im usually the only one that can calm her down. Which brings me to another subject. I think there is something wrong with me, because i have like this overwhelming fear, like im dealthy afraid of loosing my daughter. I seriously spent half of lastnight holding her in my lap(even though she sleeps with me, i still picked her up in my arms) and just bawled my eyes out. I don't know wtf came over me... i just became overwhelmed with fear and this isn't the first time this has happened. It has happened before. So I am gonna talk to my head doctor about it and see if this is normal or if i can get a pill for it. On a happier note did yall know Walmarts brand(parents choice) makes babyfood? It's like $0.60 cheaper and it has 10% more in it, plus 10% more potassium. So.. yeah for fruits i'm gonna be buying that brand instead of gerber.. that is until i learn to make my own. Well ok i'm done ranting for now.