I cant let it go...

Ok, so the day i found out Jon passed I cryed for about 7 hours strait.. no letting up then passed out from exaustion... anyway... i am still extremely upset... i was in denial for a while, but now... i found a news article about the accident, and it just seems soo... real to me now... and im having a horrible time letting out my emotions.... like im about to explode but i cant cry... iv tryed... i think its cuz im trying sooo hard to stay strong for clara, that they just wont come... if any of you have any tips on how to let out emotion that would be great... also thank you for all the well wishes. I talked to his mother today, and she said that the funeral would be on Tuesday, she said he was cremated yesterday and was already on his way back home... but that it would take a few days to get back here... sorry if you dont agree with me, but i think shipping human remains through the mail is so damn disrespectful... i mean hello that used to be a human being! Anyway, they did the DNA sample, and it is waiting for me at the Wyoming hospital. But yeah i found a news article about the accident, and i am very confused... I was told a few things, 1. that he was going 70 mph, 2. he died on the scene. 3. the car rolled 4 times... ok this news article contradicts all of that, it says he was going 90 mph, that he died in the hospital, and that his car only rolled 2 times..... I am going to call his mother tomarrow and try to get somethings straitened out... because i am very confused... oh and now i am all worried.. because if he WAS going 90mph... doesnt that seem.. kinda suicidal to you... That is what has me sooo damn worried..... but yeah ok im done ranting.