Psyciatric Diagnosis & A Confession

So, i went to my new psyciatrist today, he seemed really nice and friendly. I spent about the first 20 min of the session filling him in all the details about my messed up family. Then i spent 10 min telling me about all the damn medication i have been on. Then we talked... it was nice, he asked questions, and for once, i felt like i wasnt crazy(my old head doc always gave me weird looks). So, yeah here is the diagnosis, I am bipolar, i asked what kind, but he said, that would have to be pinpointed at a later time. I have severe depression, and generalized anxiety disorder. Those weird face things iv been telling you all about.. yeah apparently that can be a symptom of bipolar; I have had those weird face things since i was at least 11, so does that mean iv been bipolar since i was 11? Anyway... i have a confession to make, I lied to you all, when you asked if i was ok, i said i was... i lied. I'm NOT ok, i'm dying inside, mostly from anger, mostly from guilt. I feel like its my fault Jon died, I feel that if, i had just told him how much i loved him, that maybe he would have stayed in SD, I am also feeling extreme guilt because this past week i have been so emotionally and mentally off, that i havent spent much time with clara... and she doesnt deserve that... I cryed a few tears tonight, so i'm hoping thats a start. Oh and i got a call from the SS office today, apparently since the father of my daughter is deceased i have to go through a lawyer to get his name on her birth certificate. I called the only paternity lawyer i could find in the phone book, and he is supposed to call me back. I called a few other family law lawyers but they charge $200/hr. I'm starting to think just going to a DNA center here in town would be cheaper(around $600). I have no idea what to do, i'm out of money, out of luck, and so very upset.... i'm not sure what to do anymore.